Tuesday, December 9, 2008

TuesDay in Football

Washington unveiled their new coach, USC offensive coordinator Steve Sarkisian. Apparently, there were "Sark! Sark!" chants which is stupid. If ever a guy had a name asking for the nickname "Shark" it's this guy. That, or "Sarkisian Blinds" but it's counterintuitive to have a nickname longer than an actual name, I guess.

Brandon Davis, a UCF freshman football player, became dehydrated and collapsed during a weight training session this week. He's still in the hospital and the school's launching an investigation. There's shit-all funny about this story. Fingers crossed, wood knocked, and a bunch of other superstitious good luck stuff that he's okay.

Phil Fulmer accepted an administrative position at Tennessee. There are going to be a lot of words written about his commitment to and love for the University of Tennessee. Fuck that noise, Fulmer's a punk-ass chump. He served as head coach to that team for sixteen and a half years (forget his time as a player and assistant coach) and compiled a 152-52 record including division and conference titles and a National Championship and was, essentially, forced out by greedy fans. He should've taken another SEC job and stuck it to the Vols every chance he got.

Appeal denied, Jacksonville Jaguars receiver Matt Jones is going to have to serve a three game suspension for the League's substance abuse policy. For those with coke addled brains, Jones was picked up in Fayettville, Arkansas for possession of cocaine in July. Who knew that a 6 foot 6 white guy cutting up blow with a credit card in a parked car might draw suspicion?

I posted a link to this SportingNews gossip page yesterday, too, and today it says that maybe Marty Schottenheimer might be interested in being the Browns' GM if Bill Cowher perhaps was their coach. I have no doubt Schottenheimer could assemble an amazing team to lose in the second round of the play-offs.

With Sunday's loss to Pittsburgh, the Dallas Cowboys' chances at a play-off appearance are growing bleaker. Granted, this is hardly a "Tuesday" development, but I'm mentioning it anyway, 'cause motherfuck the Cowboys.

It's a fact: Phil Fulmer should grow a mustache.

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