Dirty Vegas

So here unlike what my weaselly counterpart, Buddy Randolph, said, I will be doing a post on this weekends games. So suck on it, ya Ray Rhodes-killing mother fucker! Let's get it right, get it tight.

GAME 1: Houston (-7) at Oakland
Yet another time when gambling has made an unwatchable game a bit more...NO!...I cannot lie. Don't watch this game. Just watch the ticker and pretend like you watched it. It'll give you more time to do thing on Sunday. Mow the lawn. Read from the bible. Give the wife a little pickle tickle. Both these teams are tough to go with versus the spread. Houston is (6-7-1) and Oakland is (5-9). Also, it is Week 16 and these two team have nothing to play for. Houston is a slight favorite versus team outside of there division and have been busting heads as of recent. TAKE HOUSTON.

GAME 2: Kansas City (+4) at Miami
Kansas City's offense has been playing well as of late. Miami is in the hunt for a piece of that hot hot AFC East tail. This means absolutely nothing to the true gambler. This is a cold weather team playing in Miami in December. They are going to be loose and Tyler Thigpen (Is he the only white Thigpen in the country?) is playing coo-coo bananas. Also, Kansas City is (8-6) versus the spread. TAKE KANSAS CITY.

GAME 3: Cincinnati at Cleveland (32)
Really? 32 points? Is this a Pop Warner game? Will Brady Quinn's mom be bringing Capri-suns and raisin roundies for after the game? This is absurd! Does the 'Nati suck? YES! But this are two of the worst defenses in the league. Me no get this one, Ugg. I wish Buddy Randolph was here with a tele-strator to draw his little lock next to this one. This is my shoe in of the week. TAKE THE OVER.

Now you might be asking, "Hey Rochester! How much money are you gonna put on these games?"

My answer: "Don't talk to me and no eye contact!"