Gee, Doc, you got your whole fist down there?

I went to the dentist the other day to get 5 cavities filled. That's right, FIVE! The dentist and I got to chatting while waiting for the novacain to take effect. This is what good dentist do, because it helps to get the drug into your bloodstream. My old dentist would shoot his arm full of the stuff and then excuse himself to the bathroom to play his game of "the stranger." My new dentist turns out to be a Kentucky fan. I talk about what a surprising high Rich Brooks was for them. He talks about how much he wants Kentucky to beat Steve Spurrier. This puts me at ease as the drilling begins. This is where things kind of go wrong.

I was not in any pain, but the dentist took my knowledge about football to mean that he can keep talking about football while doing his business. He isn't just making statements about Kentucky football, but he is asking me questions. Not the kind of questions that get a grunt or an gag for a response. He is asking me if I think the success of the NC State football program was because of Amato or Phillip Rivers (Ed. Note: It was a combination of Norm Chow and Phillip Rivers.). He was asking me if I thought Andre Woodson would turn into a good pro (Ed. Note: No.). He even asked me if I thought Jared Lorenzen was a good back up to Peyton Manning (Ed. Note: I love the hefty lefty!). It was driving me nuts. Then as I am waiting for my filling to set, he makes a comparison of Tim Couch to Phillip Rivers. He is lucky that he had all those instruments of pain or else it would've been on like Michelle Kwan. Dentists are sadists.