From the News Womb

This just in Chris Beanie Wells is feeling fine. This is according to the most trusted name in sports news, his fucking mom. STOP THE PRESSES! STOP THE PRESSES! Paulette Wells has something to say. "Beanie hates being called Beanie. He is grown man. Call him Chrissy." This is fantastic stuff, Paulette. When did this become a news trend? I am blaming this on Brett Farve. Not because Brett Farve started this whole media search engine craze with his un-retirement (re-retirement?). I just want to blame something on Brett Farve. Oh also, I think Brett Farve might have siphoned gas from my neighbor's Datsun.