USC running back Stafon Johnson underwent seven hours of throat surgery after a weight lifting bar crushed his larynx. All reports indicate he'll fully recover, but I think that's a little misleading. It's still unknown whether he'll ever be able to speak again. In my opinion a "full recovery" means no lasting effects from an accident, and call me crazy, but I think losing the ability to speak would count as a lasting effect. You can bet that my hopes are for a real full recovery, but that Johnson's not paralyzed (or dead) is fucking fantastic.
Miami Dolphins quarterback Noodle Arm Pennington is done for the season (and, face it, his career) with a torn shoulder capsule. You know, I can't hear the word "capsule" without thinking of those things that you put in a glass water and then four hours later a sponge animal grows. I gotta get some of those things.