ThursDay in Football

Hey, remember when I was doing this for, like, a week?

NCAA
With Oklahoma, Oklahoma State, and Tulsa in the top 25, the state is the king of college football. Okay!

Next year, Army and Navy are playing a week later. Wow. I'll be sure to mark my calendar.

Chris "Bean-O" Wells is "sore but ready" for Penn State. Not that it matters, Rochester and I have gone on the record as saying Penn State's gonna win. And when we say something on the record: That. Shit. Happens.

Apparently Syracuse is denying hiring a consulting firm in the search for Greg Robinson's successor. Which, obviously, means that it's true. But honestly, a consulting firm? Couldn't they just kind of use the dartboard approach?

NFL
Jason Taylor's back for the Redskins. He was, of course, on Dancing With the "Stars" during the off-season, so you could say that he's waltzing back into the gameplan for Washington. However, you should not write shuck, jive, or - absolutely not - shuck and jive.... But on the other hand, does racism even factor in if you're talking about someone on the Redskins?

In current Vikings player news, Adrian "Purple Jesus" Peterson is learning to be patient on the field. Apparently, it's unreasonable to expect to rush for 250 yards in every game. Who knew?

In former Vikings player news, Daunte Culpepper will work for food. And presumably hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Tom Brady had to have, like, a dozen more surgeries because of an infection in his knee. There's a lot of people that will joke that it's time for his leg to get amputated, but I bet those people will feel pretty bad if he actually has to have his leg amputated. Or if this injury ends up ending his career. But don't feel too bad for too long, spiteful internet dweebs: Tom Brady still has a ton of money, bangs supermodels, and will land a fatty studio job whenever his career is over and you'll still be doing whatever unfulfilling office job (if you're lucky; maybe you drive a forklift) that you do now.

Huh, who knew Shaggy 2 Dope still had a year of eligibilty?