Who knew after ten years of Action Football (possibly not that long), it would take me basically checking out for a month for Rochester to start writing? (As a side note, did anyone notice that I lamed out on getting the Top 25s and Quad 4s up? No? That's what I thought.)
Not for nothing, Rochester did a motherfucking marvelous job with his MonDay in Football.
Saying I haven't been inspired to write here is the understatement of the year. But finally, finally something happened that got my typin' fingers a-twitchin':
The woeful Kansas City Chiefs cut Larry Johnson. I can't tell you how happy this makes me. It's hard for me to verbalize exactly how much (or, why, really) I hate Larry Johnson. Every time I see this guy (not you Grandmama, you're cool), I consider training up like that weird German arm wrestler kid so, if I ever saw Johnson in the street, I could give him a Hellboy caliber dick punching that would ring throughout history.
Larry Johnson occupies the same rarefied air as Terrell Owens and Joey Porter; athletes I dislike so much that it almost makes me physically ill to think about them. The sort of football players that, were they to join the Green Bay Packers, I'd constantly hope for career ending injuries. (Well, season ending, at least.)
Since entering the League, Johnson's had problems with coaches Dick Vermeil and now Todd Haley, threatened to hold out, demanded to be traded, has been suspended by the Chiefs and the NFL, and has been arrested four times "on various assault charges against women." What a charmer!
Still, what ultimately did him in were a series of tweets dissing his coach and some Chiefs fans and a well-reasoned (note: sarcasm) decision to start calling people "fags" publicly (a fan by way of Twitter and a reporter by way of vocal cord). Regardless of what Trey Parker and Matt Stone allege, we're not currently living in an age in which "fag" has lost all connection with gay slurs. And, man oh man, how dumb do you have to be to use that word in a scenario that you know will be reported? Especially when you go out dressed like this:
Still, as much as I wish this ass had talked himself out of the League, you and I both know someone's going to sign him. So I guess I can always hope for a season ending injury. (At least.)