Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Boy oh boy, the student has become the master.

Who knew after ten years of Action Football (possibly not that long), it would take me basically checking out for a month for Rochester to start writing? (As a side note, did anyone notice that I lamed out on getting the Top 25s and Quad 4s up? No? That's what I thought.)

Not for nothing, Rochester did a motherfucking marvelous job with his MonDay in Football.

Saying I haven't been inspired to write here is the understatement of the year. But finally, finally something happened that got my typin' fingers a-twitchin':

The woeful Kansas City Chiefs cut Larry Johnson. I can't tell you how happy this makes me. It's hard for me to verbalize exactly how much (or, why, really) I hate Larry Johnson. Every time I see this guy (not you Grandmama, you're cool), I consider training up like that weird German arm wrestler kid so, if I ever saw Johnson in the street, I could give him a Hellboy caliber dick punching that would ring throughout history.

Larry Johnson occupies the same rarefied air as Terrell Owens and Joey Porter; athletes I dislike so much that it almost makes me physically ill to think about them. The sort of football players that, were they to join the Green Bay Packers, I'd constantly hope for career ending injuries. (Well, season ending, at least.)

Since entering the League, Johnson's had problems with coaches Dick Vermeil and now Todd Haley, threatened to hold out, demanded to be traded, has been suspended by the Chiefs and the NFL, and has been arrested four times "on various assault charges against women." What a charmer!

Still, what ultimately did him in were a series of tweets dissing his coach and some Chiefs fans and a well-reasoned (note: sarcasm) decision to start calling people "fags" publicly (a fan by way of Twitter and a reporter by way of vocal cord). Regardless of what Trey Parker and Matt Stone allege, we're not currently living in an age in which "fag" has lost all connection with gay slurs. And, man oh man, how dumb do you have to be to use that word in a scenario that you know will be reported? Especially when you go out dressed like this:


Still, as much as I wish this ass had talked himself out of the League, you and I both know someone's going to sign him. So I guess I can always hope for a season ending injury. (At least.)


Rochester said...

If Jon Gruden were coaching, he'd be in Tampa by the time the repo men came to pick up his Escla-um...Denali.

Matt said...

My roommate is a huge Georgia homer (relax, Buddy, I said homER), and he thinks Gruden replacing Mark Richt is the greatest idea since indoor plumbing.
But, yeah. Larry Johnson sucks as a person.

Rochester said...

Cause Gruden loves developing young hearts and minds so much? If he starts coaching college, it would be the biggest failure since Charlie Weis. Look at Tampa Bay now, with kind of what he left in the cupboard when he was fired. Richt is doing the best with what he had left after a top 10 team. It is kind of admirable, really.

Matt said...

Ok, no. I am FAR from a Georgia homer, or even more than a casual fan, but, no. What he's done is FAR from admirable. Georgia gets top-10, maybe top-5 talent every year, and they do fuck all with it. Their coordinators are absolute dogshit, and they're not being fired or even leaned on, which is directly on Richt. I'm not saying Gruden is the answer, because I agree with you about young talent, but if Georgia wants to go anywhere up from having nothing better than an outside chance at the Peach or maybe the Sugar bowl every year, they need to move on. They keep him around cos he's a nice Christian, and that matters to a lot of people down here. But he's not even doing that well at like character shit. Vince Vance killed a guy for shit sake, and nobody talks about it. It's a legit fan base here, and they're getting shafted by Richt.