Wednesday, September 8, 2010

It is on like Rae Dawn Chong

When Rochester and Buddy started butting heads

Nothing I loves more than being called out for not posting from a man on vacation. I apologize for not posting, but ol' Rochester has made some big moves. BIG MOVES! Things got rough for me and next thing I know I living in "Pirate Country" You need a little Rochester love? Here you go:

  • Ben Rothlisberger (SHIT I SPELLED HIS NAME RIGHT THE FIRST TIME!) is scared on how Pittsburgh fans will react to him. I can only imagine how scare he will feel. I bet it would feel like being forced to drink shots, then being forced into a bathroom by men who are twice your size, and then being forced to have sex with a middle of the road NFL QB. When it is all done, the sexual predator takes photos with the local law enforcement, that are paid to protect you. To finish it, the man in charge of the only punishment for the aforementioned sexual assault, reduces it because the sex offender was nice to him and his boss claims that it is all behind him. Man, that does sound like a nightmare, Ben. How could someone live with that?
  • Darrelle "And his other brother, Darryl" Revis ended his hold out roughly the GDP of Peru short of Nnamdi Asomugha's monster contract. If Revis wants that contract, then he should just hope that Al Davis lives long enough for his contract to end in New Jers-er-York. (Ed Note: Al Davis is crazy) On another note, can players who have a good season just go ahead sit out the following camp and stop this goofy "I hold out" malarkey? Geez 'um, Crow!
  • Tom Brady is still in talks about is contract. Good luck, Tom. I kind of visualize all interested parties involved sitting about a table as the bill shows up and no one is making eye contact. New England is cheaper than a Jewish Scotsman. (Ed. Note: Happy New Year, Jews) Also, Bill Belichick never even made it to the table because he was chatting up some GMILF at the bar, drinking Coors Cutter.
  • Reggie Bush is going to lose the Heisman. OJ Simpson killed two people and robbed a dude at gun point, so...
  • A.J. Green will have to sit out three games because he sold his game-worn jersey. The weird thing is he sold it to a Japanese business man. Because you see, we buy their girls' soiled underwear and they by our NCAA football players jerseys. Is there really a market for these things? Aye gross!
  • Hey Notre Dame won last week! That means when the stumble around for a victory, like a 14-year ripping at a date's bra, against Michigan this week, then we can expect them in the top 10 next week. FAAAAAACK!
I am still here, Buddy. I am down, but I ain't out!

1 comment:

Turk Ramsey said...

He's back! And with more spelling errors than before! And no, you didn't spell Big Ben's name right. What has living in Pirate Country done to you?!?!?!