Thursday, September 1, 2011

Oh, Al Davis, you lovable undead nightmare.

Anyone with a passing familiarity of Oakland Raiders' owner/president/cryptkeeper Al Davis is probably aware of his obsession with measurables. It's the reason JabbaMarcus Russell - the quarterback whose ability to throw the ball a country mile was rivaled only by his ability to consume country ham - was made a Number One Overall pick by the Raiders, guaranteeing Russell as a first-ballot member of the Draft Bust Hall-of-Fame.

More than football-chucking strength, though, the Combine datum that gets the sand racing through Davis's black, pruney heart is speed. Speed with a capital 'S'. It's the reason by-all-rational-projections early second round receiver Darrius Heyward-Bey was taken seventh overall in 2009. And more recently, it's the reason the Raiders chose Terrelle Pryor in the third round of the NFL Supplemental Draft.

Here are a few lesser known instances of Davis's Need for Speed:

1972 - Bought a custom silver and black Jaguar E-type Series III convertible that he called Irene. Davis was forced to scrap the car after lending to Robert Evans, who returned it with a gas tank full of cocaine.

1980 - Read the Bill Cosby advertisement/essay "How to Read Faster" in Ebony magazine. Found much quicker ways of completely disregarding feedback from college scouts.

1983 - Enrolled in Surgical Technology courses at Las Positas Community College hoping to find a way to create a human/quarter horse hybrid. Transferred to Photography after his first semester, focusing on nude self portraiture. Was promptly expelled.

1992 - Bought a minority share in Galoob after being wowed by John Moschitta in a Micro Machines commercial.

1994 - Outfitted all Raiders offices with state of the art 28.8k modems. (Note: offices have not been upgraded since.)

1998 - Perfected a spinach, applesauce, wheat germ, methamphetamine smoothie recipe that has kept him alive to this day.

9 comments:

test said...

Interesting post. Make sure to check out my football blog the NFL Report (here)

Cactus@Cactusfacts.com said...

Nice blog! Check us out at www.cactusfacts.com We are a Cactus blog site. Find anything Cactus related there!

Hazel Donovan said...


Nice information, valuable and excellent design, as share good stuff with good ideas and concepts, lots of great information and inspiration, both of which I need, Very good points you wrote here..Great stuff...I think you've made some truly interesting points.Keep up the good work.
cash for cars logan
car removal logan

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing such nice information with us, I love your blog because most of the person wants to get rid of the problem of damaged car and they wish to remove it and want some handsome cash and I appreciate your blog for this info.
cash for cars melbourne
cash for unwanted cars melbourne

Hashtag Car Removal said...


A good blog always comes-up with new and exciting information and while reading I have feel that this blog is really have all those quality that qualify a blog to be a one
car removal sydney
free car removal sydney

Health and fitness said...

good to see your blog in search list to give more info cash for scrap cars Adelaide

Health and fitness said...

highly appreciable article read in this website which is informative top cash for scrap cars Adelaide

faizaseo01 said...

If the negligent actions of another caused the accident, you may be able to work with a passionate personal injury attorney to obtain compensation.
Atlanta Car Accident Lawyer

Tech Guy said...

highly appreciable article read in this website which is informative time