Thursday, December 10, 2009

ThursDay in Football

To no one's surprise, Lane Kiffin is being looked at by the NCAA for recruiting violations. Reggie Bush and his momma sitting in their free house are shocked. One of the main violations has to do with the used of hostesses for recruits (READ: whores).

Texas has decided to make Mack Brown the highest paid coach in college sports. He'll be getting paid $5 million a year or half a billion pennies. At his press conference, Brown was quoted to be "drinkin' Maker's Mark-a. Cranberry vodka" and he apprearently owns a "fur coat 'bout hairy as Chewbacca". Living the dream.

Notre Dame is interested in UConn coach Randy Edsall. I don't know what the hell that means. I guess the AD has to pass a note to Edsall in a film session and it says "Do you like me?" with a box that says yes or no. (PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THIS ONE!) Looks as though Notre Dame is trading in one husky coach for another Husky coach. HOO-WAA! Where's my rim-shot? Or is it a rim job? Either way, I am taking my pants off.

Michigan State freshman WR Myles White has been suspended from the team for being arrested for underage possession of alcohol and making sissies in public. For once, an athlete I can identify with. Also, he has plead not guilty; however the Bath Township police have pretty good evidence against him. Detectives Stabler and that big-boobed detective are compiling a strong case for the ADA on this one. They really want to make an example of White. Side note, what a f*cking waste of time, money, reasources, and oxygen to take a kid pissing drunk at a club to court.

Tony Romo has been practicing holding on special teams for the Cowboys again. I am sure this will end well.

LateGate 2009 (HOW YOU LIKE THAT ONE, RANDOLPH?) is starting to unfold for the Patriots. A day after Adalius Thomas was sent home for showing up late to a meeting, Thomas comes out and says he is upset. To be honest, I'd be pretty cranked too if I had to get up for an 8am meeting, drive in the snow, and then be sent home for just being a couple minutes late. That being said, I would be gettiing up out of my second hand bed in my creepy one-room apartment, I'd be driving my used Nissan with a cracked windshield, and my meeting would be for my craptatstic job where I make no money. Maybe Adalius could have left a bit earlier for the weather. I mean, Tom Brady was there and Giselle was having their horse-faced child. He is so devoted to that team that family comes second. Oh wait.
I never knew Mack Brown was Ronnie James Dio Fan. Ride the Tiger, Mack!

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