Friday, October 31, 2008
A Personal Welcome to One of Our Newest Readers
Here's to you, person in Singapore that did a Google blog search for "naked guys".
Thursday, October 30, 2008
In Technology News
The Action Football! Podcast is now in the actual iTunes store. So if you want to subscribe to it (or turn a friend on to it), instead of having to open iTunes, go to Advanced, select "Subscribe to podcast"... you can just go to the iTunes store and do a podcast search for virtually any combination of: "Rochester" "Randolph" "Action" "Football" and let the robots do your work for you!
ThursDay in Football
Buddy Randolph: on the mend! I'm sitting at about 75% right now, so next week's show should be on track.
NCAA
Apparently Cincinnati's getting 4 (four) quarterbacks ready for the upcoming game against South Florida. (And by upcoming, I mean to-fucking-night.) Anyway, I'm generally suspicious of running quarterback-by-committee with two quarterbacks let alone four. If there's any justice, they will run a different quarterback for each down of each series. It's so crazy, it just might work!
It's a felony to break into a dorm room? Too bad for you, Virginia fullback RaShawn Jackson. (And mind your weekends, Rochester.)
Without a game this week, Joe Paterno may have surgery. I didn't actually read this story, but I'm guessing the surgery is for his knee or hip or whatever leg injury's got him stuck in the press box. But I'd like to believe that the surgery is gender reassignment. Something about JoePa has always seemed grandmotherly to me, and I'd like to see that become a reality.
NFL
Michael Vick is going to have to plead guilty in person. Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.... The prosecutor's name is GERALD POINDEXTER! Seriously? Is Vick's attourney named Sherman Dastardly? It's like a trial from an Archie comic book.
You know things are going good in Detroit when they had to e-mail Daunte Culpepper's agent, Daunte Culpepper, to see about giving Culpepper a workout.
Economic crisis? Seemingly endless war? Fuck that shit, the Senate wants more football on tv!
"So you show up, fill out some paperwork, let the AD know when you're gonna pop, do your business, and pick up your fifty bucks."
"But isn't it weird being around, like, forty other half naked guys?"
"Yeah, the first couple times, I guess. But you get used to it. Plus craft services let's you take home food if you want."
"Uh, yeah, no thanks...."
NCAA
Apparently Cincinnati's getting 4 (four) quarterbacks ready for the upcoming game against South Florida. (And by upcoming, I mean to-fucking-night.) Anyway, I'm generally suspicious of running quarterback-by-committee with two quarterbacks let alone four. If there's any justice, they will run a different quarterback for each down of each series. It's so crazy, it just might work!
It's a felony to break into a dorm room? Too bad for you, Virginia fullback RaShawn Jackson. (And mind your weekends, Rochester.)
Without a game this week, Joe Paterno may have surgery. I didn't actually read this story, but I'm guessing the surgery is for his knee or hip or whatever leg injury's got him stuck in the press box. But I'd like to believe that the surgery is gender reassignment. Something about JoePa has always seemed grandmotherly to me, and I'd like to see that become a reality.
NFL
Michael Vick is going to have to plead guilty in person. Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.... The prosecutor's name is GERALD POINDEXTER! Seriously? Is Vick's attourney named Sherman Dastardly? It's like a trial from an Archie comic book.
You know things are going good in Detroit when they had to e-mail Daunte Culpepper's agent, Daunte Culpepper, to see about giving Culpepper a workout.
Economic crisis? Seemingly endless war? Fuck that shit, the Senate wants more football on tv!
"So you show up, fill out some paperwork, let the AD know when you're gonna pop, do your business, and pick up your fifty bucks.""But isn't it weird being around, like, forty other half naked guys?"
"Yeah, the first couple times, I guess. But you get used to it. Plus craft services let's you take home food if you want."
"Uh, yeah, no thanks...."
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Our Podcast is Sick!
I mean that literally. I am almost 30 years old for Fred Savage's sake, why would I use the term sick to mean something good. The only 30 year olds who use sick to mean something good are those dochebags who still skateboard. Why aren't those dudes on a sexual predator watch list? I mean, I can't walk past St. Mary's during a field hockey game without getting one of these uppity mothers throwing their Volvo keys at my ass, but these guys can gleam the cube with a bunch of teen-aged boys? Where are you on this one, Chris Hansen? Oh and I love it when these guys show up at there jobs with twisted ankles and broken hips. Have fun explaining that one to your VP of development, fuckshovel.
Anywho, Buddy Randolph got a case of the sniffles and decided to squash this week's podcast. I wouldn't hear of it. So, I went ahead and talked about the NFL for an hour all by me-self. There was no recording equipment, so no one would hear it. No one hearing our podcast is pretty much standard, so no biggie-shortie. We'll be back next week. Take you vitamins and Happy Halloween, people. FOR TRUE!
Friday, October 24, 2008
FriDay in Football
NCAA
The West Virginia Coalmineers - well, Noel Devine, really - stuck it to Auburn last night. Call me crazy, but this is kind of how I'd expected West Virginia to play all year. Come to think of it, this is how I expected Auburn to play all year, too.
Tennessee is out for payback against Alabama. Apparently John Parker Wilson had a great day against the Vols last year, so I'd expect Tennessee to get revenge the only way they know how: losing by four touchdowns.
First Toledo beats Michigan, then they suspend Sean Willimason, a senior defensive lineman, for the remainder of the season; a co-captain no less. Over/under on the team rules having to do with weed? 'Cause, Christ, what else is there to do in Toledo?
NFL
Plaxico Burress was fined $45,000 by the League. For what? For being a dumbshit.
Speaking of weed and Ohio, former Buckeye got pulled over and admitted that he had marijuana in his car. In fairness, he was probably only holding it for Michael Irvin who was holding it for a friend.
Peyton Manning's second off-season knee surgery was either for or not for a staph infection. I'm pretty sure a bunch of USC players got staph infections over the summer. Then Kellen Winslow was hospitalized by one. Tom Brady's knee infection? I bet it's staph. Now, I'm no epidemiologist (well, an amateur at most) but I'm pretty sure this means that football teams are test groups for some sort new biological weapon. You know Planet Terror? This shit is going to turn out just like that.
Commish Roger Goodell is on the "shorter preseason, longer regular season train." Frankly, with an expiring CBA, the end of the salary cap, and a potential labor lock out, Goodell has bigger fish to fry. Plus he's gonna have to decide what sort of absurd suspension to hand out to Santonio Holmes.
Ummm...I got nothing.
The West Virginia Coalmineers - well, Noel Devine, really - stuck it to Auburn last night. Call me crazy, but this is kind of how I'd expected West Virginia to play all year. Come to think of it, this is how I expected Auburn to play all year, too.
Tennessee is out for payback against Alabama. Apparently John Parker Wilson had a great day against the Vols last year, so I'd expect Tennessee to get revenge the only way they know how: losing by four touchdowns.
First Toledo beats Michigan, then they suspend Sean Willimason, a senior defensive lineman, for the remainder of the season; a co-captain no less. Over/under on the team rules having to do with weed? 'Cause, Christ, what else is there to do in Toledo?
NFL
Plaxico Burress was fined $45,000 by the League. For what? For being a dumbshit.
Speaking of weed and Ohio, former Buckeye got pulled over and admitted that he had marijuana in his car. In fairness, he was probably only holding it for Michael Irvin who was holding it for a friend.
Peyton Manning's second off-season knee surgery was either for or not for a staph infection. I'm pretty sure a bunch of USC players got staph infections over the summer. Then Kellen Winslow was hospitalized by one. Tom Brady's knee infection? I bet it's staph. Now, I'm no epidemiologist (well, an amateur at most) but I'm pretty sure this means that football teams are test groups for some sort new biological weapon. You know Planet Terror? This shit is going to turn out just like that.
Commish Roger Goodell is on the "shorter preseason, longer regular season train." Frankly, with an expiring CBA, the end of the salary cap, and a potential labor lock out, Goodell has bigger fish to fry. Plus he's gonna have to decide what sort of absurd suspension to hand out to Santonio Holmes.
Ummm...I got nothing.Thursday, October 23, 2008
ThursDay in Football
Hey, remember when I was doing this for, like, a week?
NCAA
With Oklahoma, Oklahoma State, and Tulsa in the top 25, the state is the king of college football. Okay!
Next year, Army and Navy are playing a week later. Wow. I'll be sure to mark my calendar.
Chris "Bean-O" Wells is "sore but ready" for Penn State. Not that it matters, Rochester and I have gone on the record as saying Penn State's gonna win. And when we say something on the record: That. Shit. Happens.
Apparently Syracuse is denying hiring a consulting firm in the search for Greg Robinson's successor. Which, obviously, means that it's true. But honestly, a consulting firm? Couldn't they just kind of use the dartboard approach?
NFL
Jason Taylor's back for the Redskins. He was, of course, on Dancing With the "Stars" during the off-season, so you could say that he's waltzing back into the gameplan for Washington. However, you should not write shuck, jive, or - absolutely not - shuck and jive.... But on the other hand, does racism even factor in if you're talking about someone on the Redskins?
In current Vikings player news, Adrian "Purple Jesus" Peterson is learning to be patient on the field. Apparently, it's unreasonable to expect to rush for 250 yards in every game. Who knew?
In former Vikings player news, Daunte Culpepper will work for food. And presumably hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Tom Brady had to have, like, a dozen more surgeries because of an infection in his knee. There's a lot of people that will joke that it's time for his leg to get amputated, but I bet those people will feel pretty bad if he actually has to have his leg amputated. Or if this injury ends up ending his career. But don't feel too bad for too long, spiteful internet dweebs: Tom Brady still has a ton of money, bangs supermodels, and will land a fatty studio job whenever his career is over and you'll still be doing whatever unfulfilling office job (if you're lucky; maybe you drive a forklift) that you do now.
NCAA
With Oklahoma, Oklahoma State, and Tulsa in the top 25, the state is the king of college football. Okay!
Next year, Army and Navy are playing a week later. Wow. I'll be sure to mark my calendar.
Chris "Bean-O" Wells is "sore but ready" for Penn State. Not that it matters, Rochester and I have gone on the record as saying Penn State's gonna win. And when we say something on the record: That. Shit. Happens.
Apparently Syracuse is denying hiring a consulting firm in the search for Greg Robinson's successor. Which, obviously, means that it's true. But honestly, a consulting firm? Couldn't they just kind of use the dartboard approach?
NFL
Jason Taylor's back for the Redskins. He was, of course, on Dancing With the "Stars" during the off-season, so you could say that he's waltzing back into the gameplan for Washington. However, you should not write shuck, jive, or - absolutely not - shuck and jive.... But on the other hand, does racism even factor in if you're talking about someone on the Redskins?
In current Vikings player news, Adrian "Purple Jesus" Peterson is learning to be patient on the field. Apparently, it's unreasonable to expect to rush for 250 yards in every game. Who knew?
In former Vikings player news, Daunte Culpepper will work for food. And presumably hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Tom Brady had to have, like, a dozen more surgeries because of an infection in his knee. There's a lot of people that will joke that it's time for his leg to get amputated, but I bet those people will feel pretty bad if he actually has to have his leg amputated. Or if this injury ends up ending his career. But don't feel too bad for too long, spiteful internet dweebs: Tom Brady still has a ton of money, bangs supermodels, and will land a fatty studio job whenever his career is over and you'll still be doing whatever unfulfilling office job (if you're lucky; maybe you drive a forklift) that you do now.
Huh, who knew Shaggy 2 Dope still had a year of eligibilty?
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