SEC Football at it best.

I have already had one of my (what should be many) therapy sessions on the NC State/South Carolina game. Howevs, during the game last night the announcers (nice tie, Jesse Palmer) mentioned that South Carolina RB Mike Davis was to serve a suspension for breaking into the team locker room to steal Gatorade from the refrigerator. First off, I think Micheal Mann should look at this crime for his next installment of Heat. Second, he f*cking played. I looked at South Carolina schedule. I have a sneaky suspicion that Davis will not be sitting until they play Wofford. Just a hunch. Their second leading rusher had just 35 yards on 14 carries. This is almost as bad as when the SEC banned BJ McKie half of a game. Wow looky here, they both went to South Carolina. What a coincidence!

34-0? Where is my bourbon and handgun?

So if you were watching, NC State got messed up pretty bad last night. And when I say, "messed up pretty bad" I really mean, "This must be how Jodie Foster felt in The Accused." I relatively understand what Tom O'Brien was trying to do with Russell Wilson. He had him run a couple of times to throw South Carolina's defense off. He was looking at it for a whole game kind of picture. With those runs to the outside, because our offensive line was, well, offensive, he could then set up passes down field later in the game. But Russell Wilson's head and neck had a different idea and we got to see the face of NC State football for the last three disappointing season, Danny Evans. Before he entered the game the turnover margin was NC State +2. WHAT IN THE SAM HOUSTON STATE? NC STATE WAS LEADING THE TURNOVER BATTLE? Then came good ol' Toaster Head Evans. If Picasso's art medium is paint and Michelangelo's is marble, then Danny Evans's should be turnovers. He makes simple passes look so hard. He makes substandard defensive ends look like LT after three lines of coke. He is a true master of his craft. Another case of ants at a picnic was converted DT/current center Ted Larsen (also known as Larson to ESPN). His snaps were high quite often and once led to a fumble. I really hope he gets his proverbial head out of his proverbial ass before the proverbial next game of the proverbial season...hypothetically.

Was there a bright spot? Yes, but it is kind of like a tugger when your hoping to get laid. The defense looked really good. The defensive line had real good pressure which led to four interceptions. The linebacking corp was led by Nate Irving (9 tackles and 1 INT). They actually looked solid for have not starters from last year. And the secondary did their job of picking off the aforementioned passes. Not too shabby. Most of the 34 points was scored in the 4th quarter when the poor guys had been on the field forever. Also, Andre Brown had a nice comeback game, rushing for 101 on 21 carries. He did have a crappy fumble and didn't get in the endzone. So, some jeers mixed in with those cheers, Andre. Nowhere to go but up, Pack.

Our Long National Nightmare Is Over

But Rochester's long personal nightmare is just beginning....

It was awfully nice to settle in for football that matters. I watched the NC State/South Carolina game until just about the end before switching over to Stanford/Oregon State which entertained me until Stanford's pick-six. After that, I went to bed.

Anyway, some notes:

• Chris Fowler really seems to amuse himself. He chuckled through the last half of nearly every single sentence. Has he always done that?
• The way Fowler, et al. kept talking about Spurrier Sr. and Spurrier Jr. it sounded like Steve Spurrier's penis was calling some of the plays.
• Whereas Lou Holtz's halftime pep talks were bizarre and somewhat entertaining, this Dr. Lou shit is gonna get old and fast.
• Oregon State's defensive coordinator is gonna need to figure out how to scheme to stop the run. When Stanford is gashing you for about 10 yards a carry, buddy, you've got problems.
• It's no doubt due to the similarities in school name, team colors, and Christian name, but I kept thinking Oregon State's head coach Mike Riley was Oklahoma State's head coach Mike Gundy.
• ESPN2 is going to have to send a memo to whichever of the guys calling the Stanford game kept pronouncing Chik-Fil-A "chickfilluh." I'm guessing corporate sponsors aren't to keen on having their name's fucked up.
• Jim Harbaugh looks a lot like Peter Brady.
• I wish they'd quit calling Erin Andrews "E.A." because I get subconsciously weirded out when those to letters aren't followed by the word "Sports." Why, yes, I am a huge nerd....

Sean Merry Man

Steeeerrrroooooids!

So the other day I read that Shawne Merriman had a potentially career-threatening knee injury. What's the next, logical step? Well, playing on it, of course.

You stay "not borderline retarded," Shawne....

Action Football! Episode 1 is On the Air

That's right. Come join us for the first edition of the most insightful, comprehensive, high brow* football podcast ever recorded.

Click the image above to stream the podcast over at Gcast (thanks, Gcast!) or, if you're an iTunes user - and really, who isn't - simply open your iTunes, select "Subscribe to podcast..." from the "Advanced" menu and paste the following:

http://www.gcast.com/u/dw3000/main.xml

...to get every episode sent to your...iTunes...library. I guess.

Anyway, the first episode is a special double-episode (seriously, I don't think most of our shows will run 80 minutes -?!?) college football preview. It might be mixed a little low, so make sure you turn it down towards the end, or else the next podcast in your iTunes might blow your speakers out. Still, for our initial go, we think it's pretty good. So would our mothers, I'm sure, if it weren't for the cursing.

*Podcast may not be any of these things.

This is an awesome graphic:

Here.

Which I saw over at EDSBS. Most of the stuff I post about college football will probably have roots there.

Fool me six times, shame on me.

Old news, no doubt, but the Cincinnati Bengals have resigned Chris Henry. Henry's one of those guys that just seems compelled to get arrested. It wouldn't surprise me if he gave someone a bottle of champagne just so he could break into their house and steal it back. And then find some sixteen year old girls to give it to.

Mostly, though, I'm bringing this up now as an excuse to post this picture:


Every time I see Chris Henry, I see Kiff Kroker.

This is gonna be the longest 8 days ever!

Why are you playing with me, Tom O'Brien? You think this shit is funny? It is not. Oh ho ho! You called a press conference to say your redshirting Mike "Why the long face?" Glennon. Thanks, Dickhead. It is not like I speed walked my way home to huddle around my clock radio to listen to your live new conference or anything. Oh wait, I did! You are lucky you are a fellow ginger or else, I would've been really pissed off! ME WANTY FOOTBALL!

Just...awesome.

LSUFreek and EDSBS, absolutely killin' it.

Already stealing stuff

Ah, the blogerican way!

I saw this on Kissing Suzy Kolber who saw it on the website for some Mexican restaurant (I think). Typos notwithstanding, it's pretty good comedy. (Sorry about the Rivers crack - heehee - Rochester.)

And introducing Buddy Randolph:

I'll follow up Rochester's post with a little about me.

1. Growing up in southeast Wisconsin in a family of unrepentant sports homers, I'm a big Packers and Badgers fan. Accordingly, I despise the Chicago Bears. I derive almost as much pleasure from them losing as I do from the Packers winning. Regardless of how Green Bay does this season, given how shitty the Bears look, I should have plenty to be happy about.
2. A lot of people like "The Super Bowl Shuffle" for its kitsch. Not me. Hearing it makes me want to puke.
3. I hate Michigan. But I'm sure Wolverines fans would react to that the way I do to Vikings fans ranting about Green Bay. Michigan:Ohio State :: Green Bay: Chicago, so it's just adorable that they try to gin up a rivalry....
4. I should probably have more vitriol for Minnesota, but there's been such a huge gap in talent between the Badgers and Gophers over the past fifteen years, I just can't muster it up.
5. As a peculiar quirk of college ball, though, since I'm a Big Ten apologist, I'll still pull for Big Blue in bowl season. (Something I'd never do for another NFC North team in the play-offs.)
6. Like Rochester, I can't stand Notre Dame.
7. Also like Rochester, I find it really hard to watch SEC football. In fact, I suspect that unless you grow up in SEC country (clues: grown men calling their fathers "daddy," broken screen doors, referring to animals, unironically, as varmints), you're in the same boat.

So there you have it.

Where I be at?

Just so anyone who may be new to my game needs to know here is where I am coming from when it comes to football:

1. I hate UNC.
2. I hate Notre Dame.
3. I have a difficult time watching SEC football. I have no idea why. I just can't watch it.
4. I went to a school (originally) that had no football team and I pulled for the U. of Miami. That is mostly because they used to be outlaws and thugs. Also, Warren Sapp went there and I will kill for Warren Sapp.
5. Howevs, I graduated from THE NC State University and now pull for them with absolutely all me heart. NC State University has the worst inferiority complex in the world. We are second fiddle to just about every team in the state of North Carolina. And with Wake Forest most recent emergence and Appalachian State winning all those high school championships, things have just gotten worse for us.
6. I hate more teams and people than I like. My own mother compared be to Daniel Plainview. Christmas will be awkward this year.
7. I am a Tampa Bay Buccaneers fan, because that was the only team I could win with on Tecmo Super Bowl. I stand by my choice. Big ups to Steve DeBerg and Eugene Marve!

Just so you know where I am coming from...and you may not want to visit there. It is really dark and smells a bit like bourbon and Eggo waffles.

The Introduction

Okay, another year, another podcast announcement....

This time around, your Ministers of Football Information are Rochester Binghampton and Buddy Randolph. The first episode will be up sometime around the 26th, in time to lather you up for the NC State/South Carolina game on the 28th.

Once things settle in, shows should be available on Wednesdays or Thursdays so you can hear all about the previous weekend's games (after SportsCenter clips and other blogs have made them Old News) and uneducated previews of the up-comers (convenient!).

Between now and then, we'll try to post some stuff including some "Meet Your Hosts" type information.

Peace out.

Drunk Squirrel can tell you that Old Style is far superior to Bud, ya heard?